A better day that comes

Today is better.

Yesterday was a big mess. I stayed out too late, drowned my sorrows in one beer too many, spent too much time commiserating with too many friends who had also dumped so much time and money into fighting the marriage ban. As much time as I spent preparing for the worst, I guess I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be waking up the next morning a second class citizen of the state.

It hurts. It hurts a lot.

I did want to point out what kind of extremists are behind the ban. Now that they've marginalized all unmarried people, the Family Research Institute of Wisconsin is turning its evil unblinking eye to divorcees. Here's what Julaine Appling, CEO of the FRI, president of the Vote Yes campaign, and crazy person has planned for us:

Appling said the Family Research Institute, which took the lead in fighting the same-sex marriage ban, would "judiciously" examine Wisconsin's no-fault divorce law - spouses can request termination of the marriage without having to prove marital misconduct - and eventually approach legislators about introducing changes. She said she could foresee proposing a longer waiting period for divorces and implementing required premarital counseling.

I'm friends with a lot of the people who helped to organize the drive against the amendment, and they're really good, honest people who didn't want to participate in smear tactics. But I think the vote could have come out a lot differently if we had made it clear just what sort of right-wing extremists were behind the ban. I think it also would have been nice if someone in the press had asked questions a few probing questions about Ms. Appling's long-term female roommate and the nature of their relationship, but that's just me.

Fine. Whatever. The time to debate strategy is passed, and I'm happy to amicably disagree with my peers on the politics of outing and the ethics of campaigning in an irrevocably flawed democracy. This battle is lost; it's time to start planning the rest of the war.

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So like I said. Today is better.

Today I started chipping away at all of the work I've let fester in the build-up to the election. I cleaned my apartment a bit. I made reservations to have dinner with friends before the Margaret Cho concert tonight.

And somewhere along the line I realized that I don't know anybody at all who voted for the gay marriage ban. None of my friends, of course. None of my neighbors. Not even my Mormon coworker. I get to be surrounded by people who see me and like me for who I am. This, at least, is a great blessing.

There's something I learned in high school, long ago, when I was hanging out with the rest of the freaks and rejects who were all trying to avoid getting beaten up by our white trash classmates:

Fuck you. I don't need your approval. My sense of self-worth has never rested on what a bunch of preliterate redneck Neanderthals think about me. Faggots are God's most perfect creation; He made us strong and fierce. Our fabulous light shines like a beacon into the heavens to make the luminous angels dance.

You who wish we would just go away. You can never hurt us. You can't even touch us.