ASL

I know exactly two sentences in American sign language. My friend J. once taught them to me, years and years ago over one dinner or the other, and I have trotted them out at cocktail parties for years and years since.

They are:

"Grow, little lesbian, grow!"

and

"Why the fuck not?"

So the other day I met a woman who is a translator for the deaf, and -- being both the friendly type and the drunk type -- I decided to show off my entire repertoire of two sentences.

The first sentence, she blushed a little but laughed.

The second sentence, she looked confused and asked me to sign it again. And then again. And then one more time.

"So, what were you trying to say?"
"Um. I was told that it was 'why the fuck not.'"
"Ohhhh. No no. Someone taught you wrong. This is the sign for 'fuck' as an expletive." She raised her middle finger.
"Oh."
"What you were doing," bringing the index and middle fingers of both hands together twice, "means 'to have sex'."
"Oops.
"Easy mistake to make. So what you were signing was, 'Why fornicate differently?'"